by Amna Khan, PhD
When we think about communication, it’s easy to focus on words – what a child says, how clearly they say it, and whether they are using the “right” phrase at the “right” time. But in our work with children and families, we often come back to a bigger question: What is the true purpose of communication? Is it simply to make needs known, or is it to connect, interact, and build relationships?
This perspective, informed by the DIRFloortime approach, aligns closely with the work of Dr. Barry Prizant, who has long emphasized that communication development is rooted in emotional connection, regulation, and shared engagement. From this view, communication is not just about producing language, it’s about engaging in relationships. When children feel safe, regulated, and emotionally connected, they are far more likely to engage, explore, and learn.
Many children with developmental language differences communicate in ways that do not always look expected or “typical.” Some people use repeated phrases or familiar language patterns (sometimes referred to as echolalia and are reflective of Gestalt Language Processing). These forms of communication are sometimes misunderstood, yet they carry important emotional and relational meaning, especially when viewed in context. When children communicate in these ways, it is important to respond to the meaning of what they are expressing, rather than correcting them for using the “wrong” words or phrases (e.g., “We’re not talking about that right now”). Correcting language in the moment can unintentionally shut down interaction, even when the child is actively trying to connect. Validating the idea and/or the intention of the communication leaves the door open for continued interacting (e.g., “Oh, you’re thinking about ___! You seem excited about that.”)
One of the biggest shifts we emphasize is moving away from treating communication as a performance task. When communication becomes about “getting it right,” interaction can stop quickly. For example, when a child shares a word or phrase and the adult responds with “Good job!”, the exchange often ends there. While the praise is well-intentioned, it can unintentionally make communication feel like a task rather than an invitation to connect. In contrast, responses such as “I hear you,” “Tell me more,” or “You look excited!” keep the interaction open and invite the child to stay engaged.
This approach is central to the DIRFloortime model, which understands emotional connection as the foundation for learning and development. Within DIR, we prioritize regulation, shared attention, and reciprocal interaction as the building blocks for communication. Language grows most naturally when it is embedded in relationships, play, and emotionally meaningful experiences.
Communication also does not happen in isolation. It happens within relationships and within the body. Many children communicate most effectively when they feel regulated and emotionally safe. Shared play, movement, sensory input, and proximity often support engagement and connection. Relatedly, it is important to attend to nonverbal communication, including facial expressions, body orientation, gestures, and emotional tone, which often provide important information about a child’s internal experience. Responding to both verbal and nonverbal communication helps deepen connection and mutual understanding.
At CGW, our goal is not to teach children to “perform” communication. Our goal is to help children experience communication as meaningful – something that supports emotional expression, builds relationships, and fosters connection. When communication is rooted in relationships, children are more likely to stay engaged, take risks, and grow in ways that feel authentic and sustainable. When connection comes first, learning naturally follows.
Ultimately, communication is not just about getting needs met. It is about being seen, being understood, and being in a relationship. When we keep this at the center of our work, everything else begins to fall into place.
Connected Growth & Wellbeing 